actions speak louder than words?

a fren of mine once said that i shud giv my mum a hug to show that i love my mum a lot n hope she'l understand...so far,i STILL haven pluck up the courage to do that to my mum..yes..u may think dat something soo simple oso i cnt do..



its not simple at all for me..



it took me a lot of strengh n will to even ask my mum ANYTHING,let alone hugging her..

the 3 simple words-i love u-was rarely spoken in my home..i dunno y we didn't..we just...don't..



maybe its the way of my mum's thinking..for her,action is uch more important than telling 'i love u'..i dun deny the power of the words,but its just not in my family...call me weird..call me crazy..in fact tell me dat im stupid 4 not expressing myself ..wateva u wanna say..but i just wanna let u know that either me o family members r human just like u r..



wad makes us different? is da lack of expressing ourselves...



maybe u shud put it dis way..



those wit a happy family dat tell each other 'i love u' everyday might think dat im crazy.or "juz say it la..wads so big deal about it?"



well..easy for them to say..they r brought up in dat condition n dat surrounding for years..try..try n imagine...imagine sum1 dat was brought up in a silent family..no heart-warming gestures n words to welcome u home 4rm sco..sum1 dat was never taught to say o express her true feelings since young..



by not expressing how we feel actually can b both good n bad...



GOOD-we wont hurt other ppl's feeling..s not everything spoken will give good effect..ppl may interpretes it the other way round..its all depending on how they take it..its not trying to be noble o anything..its trying to avoid a fight..



BAD-others won't know how we feel...meaning if wad a person do or say actually hurts us,they won't know n therefore will not stop doing so..



dat day i helped my mum with da laundry..da pail is soooOOoo heavy n she's not in a good shape to lift da pail all on her own..she din say anything afta dat..im a bit sad..s though my action is not appreciated..but i let it go anywayz..



the day when im going to board da train to go to college,i follow her to sent my cousins to sco..it was early in the morning..after dat she brought me n my sis for breakfast..which is rare..later..b4 sending me to da station,she ask agn wether i want food o anything to bring along in case im hungry later..dats like da fifth time she have asked me the similar question..



at that point,i feel warm..its s though she give me a hug..tru out da journey in da car,i tried to say something..anything..tell her not to worry about me..tell her to take care of herself..tell her dat i'll miss her..none was said..i feel soo bad..im disappointed with myself..



later..thinking back..i realised dat its not dat she did not want to say the word o express her true feelings,its just dat she didn't know how..just like the rest of my family..

back to normal....

life's back to normal...new sem started..n all da work started rolling in...

in dis new sem,classes started pretty early n end VERY late...
starts at 8a.m finishing around 4 to 5 pm...even worse den working la...
my je work oso 4rm 9a.m to 5pm oni..n she got PAID..where s i PAY to study..
who said college's fun?

yea i noe...u wanted to say dat college IS fun but my life's not,RIGHT?oh so well..guess v r on da different boat...=.p

i still cant believe dat holidays just passed lik dat..lik *wink* dat..u noe..three whole weeks..filled with nothing but misery...

spending almost three week working in a restaurant is no fun(except u tink serving cerewet ppl n kiasu fella FUN,den i ve no comments..))..well...da good thing about working in a restaurant is dat i get to eat lots of food...4 free!!!!

n da bad thing?i think im gtg fatter...especially around da middle..get wad i mean?u noe wad i mean u noe?(ms ng's style...for dose who dunno her,she's my eng teacher in f5 n she spend more den half of da class saying "u noe wad i mean u noe?") =.p sori la ms ng..i noe i shud b gratefull to u..bt,u noe wad i mean u noe?=.p

i tink if ms ng ever come across reading my blog,she'll faint out of disappointment...da amount of spelling mistakes i make..not to mention grammatical error...n all da "la" n short forms..*gasp*..aren't v glad spm is over..phew...nite mare..

ps:is dat da correct spellin?mayb i shud count n c how many mistakes i ve done in dis post itself..oh my..dat'l take a whole day..dat will..